Saturday, March 21, 2009

Our Journey Begins.....

We are at the beginning of our journey to find our daughter.

My head is swimming with all of the information on adoption that I have taken in over the past week. I'm excited and terrified at the same time. Finding out that I was expecting our biological children was less nerve-wracking than this! Still, it's something I can't stop thinking about. It's on my mind almost all the time.

All that we have agreed upon so far is that we will adopt. From where, how and when are yet to be determined. Financial issues are the main hurdle for us right now. Especially for poor Roger!

His first question was, "How are we going to afford this?". I have to give him so much credit for even agreeing to go on this journey with me. He is perfectly fine with 3 sons and no daughter. Although he would love to have one, it's not something that consumes him as it does me.

It's an indescribable feeling, the desire for a daughter.

Imagine being so in touch with your body that you can physically *feel* an empty space in your heart. A void.

Please don't get me wrong....I absolutely love my sons! They are irreplaceable and I wouldn't even consider my life without them. I love being a mother to boys:)

But there is a part of me that wants to have the unique bond that a mother and daughter have.

I can only imagine what that even feels like.

So......our journey has begun. Our little girl is out there, somewhere. And we *will* find her.

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